“Self pity easily is the most destructive of the non-pharmaceutical narcotics; it is addictive, give s momentary pleasure, and separates the victim from reality.”
John W. Gardner
Ever known someone who is consistently disappointed, unhappy, or discontent? For them, most days at work are stressful, relationships are disappointing and everyone they come into contact with is to blame for failures that exist. What these people fail to realize that the common denominator in all of this woe is,
You would think that after a while a person would clue in that not only do they have the capacity to make different choices and thus alter their reality, but they also can choose their own attitude. Sure, easier said than done
Most of us don’t like the self-reflection because if we recognize our capacity to change for the better than we’ll feel obliged to change…and that might take time and effort. Some of us just live in a state of denial and devote most of our energy into preserving the image that we are never at fault and always “hard done by”.
And then wonder why we don’t have any friends.
I don’t believe this “playing the victim” is a personality trait. I don’t even think it’s learned behaviour. I think it’s a choice some people make in order to shirk the responsibility of creating their own happiness. Or, sadly, have the misperception that happiness is when someone is feeling sorry for you.
So, how does a person actually stop feeling sorry for themselves? Easy, look to those who have larger burdens to bear but yet face each day with a smile and an infectious appreciation for life. Those who suffer from critical illnesses but yet have hope enough to move mountains. Those who suffer heartbreak after heartbreak but yet possess a faith and optimism in their fellow-man that, although childlike in its naivety, is heroic and inspiring.
Those that are consistently content with what they have chosen in life,
those who don’t rail against a fate they can’t control,
but rather embrace their reality