Encore: You Know You’re Getting Old When

I bought a fashion magazine the other day and inside was an article and photo spread of “The Sexy Dozen”, listing who the editors thought were the “it” people in show business at the moment…

and only three were familiar to me.

Now granted I don’t watch a lot of television or go to a whole lot of movies but I don’t live in an isolated shoebox away from media and culture either. And after hours (ok a few minutes) of wondering how on earth I came to be so clueless about the pop culture of the moment I realized I became

one of “those” people.

You know the ones I’m talking about. Those who reach the age where they have their set “programs”. My grandma’s program (and she actually referred to it has “her program”) was the afternoon soap opera “the Edge of Night”. My “programs” have become “Law and Order”, “Criminal Minds” and “Glee”. Just those. Once in a while I treat myself to a “Judge Judy” or two just because I enjoy the melodrama of other peoples lives…

But only in small doses.

I’m also beginning to show my age when it comes to texting. I’ve actually had to Google “rotfl” and “lmao” and I’m not ashamed to admit it. I just can’t bring myself to use the short hand “luv” and “cu” and “b4” to shorten the time and space of texting. Most of the texts I send use full words and complete sentences for no other reason other than it seems to be the proper thing to do.

There was a time when I could find something to appreciate in every genre of music. Sure I had my favorites, but I could legitimately understand why someone would like Heavy Metal, or Classical, or Jazz etc. But I don’t “get” RAP. Maybe it’s because I’m a northern Canadian Catholic girl of Ukrainian,British and German heritage but I just can’t get into flow or the poetry.

Or maybe it’s just because I’m getting old.

I’ve also realized I haven’t been plucking the eyebrows as often as I used to. Now I’ve figured out that it’s because several stray eyebrow hairs are grey therefore blending in with my white bread pale complexion AND I now wear progressive lenses so I can’t clearly see strays without using my glasses. But when I do wear my glasses when peering in the mirror, the frames hide part of the brow and therefore I miss hairs, especially the grey ones. I’m considering going the Cro-magnon route just to save the time and energy.

And the most troubling thing of all,

I can’t eat everything like I used to.

Fried food, especially beer battered fish, does bizarro things to what I think is my gall bladder. Ice cream causes the digestive system to deviate severely away from lady like decorum. Potato chips cause me to retain enough water to sustain a small country and, horror upon horror

beer bloat.

*sigh*

One of these days I’ll write a post about all the great things that come along with growing older but today I’ll just mourn the loss of my youth by finding comfort in the fact that today is the day my “program” is on the television.

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3 thoughts on “Encore: You Know You’re Getting Old When

  1. Oh my 1rst sister from another mother!well said indeed .Older yet wise,let wisdom and old age be your next topic,or mood swings and menopause !

  2. I can relate to a lot of this. Especially the texting thing; I am all about full on complete words and appropriate punctuation. Oh, and yes, I have my own programs that I do not stray from. Sigh.

  3. My only favorite TV programs have become “The Simpsons” and “The Big Bang Theory”; I don’t do texting on my cell phone; I can appreciate all music except rap; and I have begun to shy away from fast food, though I still enjoy Dr. Pepper every now and then, even though it causes bloating in my stomach.

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