To Swim in Pea Soup

I’m trying really hard to meditate.

To just calm my mind and still my heart.

But I’m not having much luck I’m afraid. There always seems to be things to do,

people to see,

calls to return…

and it would be nice to just still the air and breathe in the moment.

You know that commercial for the antacid where everything surrounding the heartburn sufferer just stops (I think it’s a woman sitting by a swimming pool), balls in mid-air, water splashing, and she gets up and out and medicates then returns to the time and space she left? I want to be able to do the same, but instead of medicating I want to meditate.

To remove myself from the fray that life seems to be sometimes.

Just for a few moments.

Just to hear my own heartbeat

and feel air fill my lungs.

The weekend should have offered a moment or two, but if it did I was too wrapped up in my frustration to notice the opportunity if it did come. I do that a lot.

Miss moments.

Smiles.

Comments.

Connections.

I need to be more self-aware and less fuzzy and not move in a cloud as thick and unappetizing as pea soup.

So I will go, before the sun sets and I’ve actually found my gloves,

outside for a stroll. And have the cold, fresh air on my cheeks and in my lungs, and remove myself

from the goopy vapor that surrounds me,

and hopefully mildly etherize my mind

with every step in the snow I take.

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