“The Spirit You Had Known in Your Childhood”

“…you’ll be able to rise in the morning with the spirit you had known in your childhood: that spirit of eagerness, adventure and certainty which comes from dealing with a rational universe.”

Ayn Rand

I had a dream last night that I was given a mission, something that required espionage and travel to exotic places. And I couldn’t leave until I cleaned my kitchen. An Angelina Jolie –esque character standing in front of my refrigerator handing me a computer disk with instructions and there I was in my flannel pajamas, hair in a ponytail askew on top of my head, and I was wiping up coffee grains and rising dishes trying to figure out how I was going to save the world AND get the condo clean by the end of the day.

I’m thinking my subconscious is telling me my practical side is in conflict with my quixotic adventuresome side. When did this happen? When did the switch in the heart flip to practicality instead of adventure? When did childhood imagination turn to impossibility? Who squelches that spark? The self? Others? Reality or a misperception thereof?

When I was fourteen I wanted to be a secret service agent. It was heroic. It was fascinating. It was as far removed as possible from the reality of my small northern Alberta town existence.

But the world seems to get smaller the older you get.

Barriers appear.

Boarders of limitations.

Not that they’re necessarily a bad thing. A living must be made, bills must be paid. The price of independence sometimes includes the reining in of grandiose notions. The “eagerness” and “adventure” of Rand’s quote being there, strong and blatantly obvious,

but not the “certainty”.

So, I’m off in search of some adventure. Maybe not the kind that involves fake passports, cryptic instructions and a firearm, but the kind that removes me from the “safeness” of the certainty with which I’ve surrounded myself.

What adventures do you seek today?


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s