Encore: Busting Myself Smartly Over the Head With A Night Light.

“How do people go to sleep? I’m afraid I’ve lost the knack. I might try busting myself smartly over the temple with the night-light. I might repeat to myself, slowly and soothingly, a list of quotations beautiful from minds profound; if I can remember any of the damn things”. ~Dorothy Parker

Three sleepless nights in a row for no apparent reason has resulted in a grouchy disposition and the following conclusions about life:

1. The unhappiest most unfulfilled people keep shrines up of their past accomplishments. Hanging framed degrees up in your office is fine, but framed clippings and team pictures from a decade ago arranged in homage behind your desk or dining room table is kinda sad actually. Pride in past accomplishments is fine, but keeping a marquee-sized portrait of yourself in your own home in a high traffic area is slightly narcissistic.

3. What’s with tank tops or Bermuda shorts in the winter? Now this isn’t just a phenomenon that exists in junior high schools as a pubescentile attempt at attention. You see tank tops at minus forty from grown women in restaurants, in the grocery store. And the same thing goes for guys. Shorts with a winter coat while sweeping a car. It doesn’t look cool. It looks stupid.

3. People who have convinced themselves that seventy-dollar face cream is better than ten-dollar face cream are only trying to sell you something.

6. Vandalism. A sad attempt at one upmanship usually done in private. If you’re trying to make a point do so publicly and be brave enough to deal with the consequences.

9. It’s usually middle-aged men who walk little dogs that refuse to pick up the poop.

10. You only get treated the way you let yourself get treated.

11. The only way to get yourself out of a rut is to initiate change even if it’s a slight shift in perspective.

12. Food usually tastes better when cooked by someone else.

13. Sale tags are signs from God.

14. You only feel as though you don’t know what you’re doing until the feeling becomes familiar. Then you can still be clueless but you’ll be ok with it.

15. Cool people wear plaid.

16. The people with the best style are the ones who can pull off hats. NOT baseball caps, but hats.

17. People who read in public places look more content than those who play with their cell phone.

18. It’s lonelier to be misunderstood than it is t be alone.

19. People who say they don’t like reading just haven’t found the right book.

20. It’s easier to know what you don’t want than it is to know what you want.

21. Truth is relative to mood.

22. Relationships are fluid. Their intensity ebbs and flows throughout the years but the good ones never run dry.

We’ll see what tonight brings if sleep eludes me. I’m hoping I’ll get a clean condo out of it.

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