“I know well what I am fleeing from but not what I am in search of.” ~Michel de Montaigne
A little grey suitcase sits on the floor of my bedroom. It’s been sitting there since my trip to Victoria over a month ago. Actually it hasn’t been sitting there the ENTIRE time. It did take a jaunt with me to Edmonton and then again to Calgary. But I don’t feel like putting it away and out of sight.
It reminds me that I always have places to go. That there are always places to see.
Locales where I have already planned to go. Tickets are bought, hotel rooms are booked. The suitcase reminds me of the future. A future dot to connect to in a life full of connect the dots.
When I feel trapped by work or by life (which are, at times, interchangeable) or if I feel claustrophobic by limits put on me by time and obligations I look at the little case and I know that I can throw in it a change of clothing and a toothbrush (if I remember) and just pick up and go when the next available fissure in a packed schedule occurs.
The ability to run away.
Which I almost never do because the claustrophobia dissipates eventually. But I could run away if I wanted to. And the suitcase proves it.
I do move it to one side when I vacuum. But I always place it back, against the wall, just inside the door to my bedroom. Eventually it will go back inside the closet in the spare room…
…when I don’t need it as a visual cue to stop and breathe and realize that merely knowing I can run away if I want to is enough.