Refusing to Say Goodbye

“Don’t be dismayed at goodbyes.  A farewell is necessary before you can meet again.  And meeting again, after moments or lifetime, is certain for those who are friends”.  ~Richard Bach

I hate it when my friends move away.  I take it personally.  How dare they contribute to the dwindling of my inner circle.  And more importantly, how dare they make me sad!

When my good friend Karen moved I refused to say goodbye.  We hugged and I said “call you later!”  And that was it.  No tears. No, “I’ll miss you.”  Simple and without phlegm.  And, psychologically and emotionally it worked for me.  We phone, we visit and we’re still as close as we were when we lived in the same city.  Distance does not a friendship break,

at least it hasn’t in the case between Karen and I.

Now my friend Chriss is leaving.  Off to start a new family in another province.  This doesn’t make me happy.  And today we said our “goodbyes”.  And I tried my “”call you later”, but Chriss, cheeky as she is, had to throw in an “I love you” and “you’re going to cry when you drive away.”

And I did.

Both Karen and Chriss have been accessible “go to” friends.  If I EVER needed a spontaneous distraction, meeting for coffee in half an hour or trying to make it to an early show, or just simply quietly hanging out and reading or marking student work, they, nine times out of ten would be the ones who would able to mobilize in a moment’s notice without coordinating with husbands or childcare.

But availability and convince are only a minuscule portion of why I am upset.  Both of these friends are more than friends.  Quite often they ventured well within the boundaries of “sister.”

Most relationships in our lives ebb and flow throughout the years but in some wonderful cases there exists a constant flow.  I could say it’s a flow of communication, or a flow of kindness, or even of humour and entertainment or even a combination of all of these.

But it probably was the fact that consistent flow was dependability and steadfastness.   They were friends no matter what.

And they still are but now a flight away.   But I’ve studied the spacial and time logistics of their new locations and have determined  they are still within a day’s driving distance.

And this makes me feel better,

but only teensy, weensy, bit.


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