Manifestations of Childhood Junk Food Repression

I wish I liked vegetables more than I do.

I keep thinking that when I grow up I’ll eat more broccoli and spinach and cauliflower.   Then I realize that I am grown up and therefore have no excuses.

If I craved lettuce as much as I craved potato chips I’d be the healthiest person on the planet.  And probably pretty dang “regular” to boot.

As a last resort,  I’ve been on the search for a potato chip alternative of the green vegetable variety and I’ve actually found a few.  At the health food store I’ve found spinach and artichoke flavored baked chips. There is the guacamole flavoured nacho chip as well! Unfortunately there is enough salt in each to rival the Dead Sea, and roughly five hundred calories in 15 individual chips.  But who stops at fifteen?  That would require some self-control, something I have a very limited amount of when it comes to junk.

I blame it on my upbringing.

I can’t just eat a few potato chips, roll up the bag and save the rest for another day.  I am capable of eating the whole bag in one sitting.  Enjoying them for the first little bit then feeling ill nearing the bottom of the bag.

But do I stop?

No.

Because when I was a kid we rarely got junk food.  And when we did it was one individual bag of BBQ flavoured Old Dutch Chips I’d share with my sisters.  We’d savor every crumb. Eating covertly in case a sister would snatch one away.  This “equality in separation” wasn’t just limited to potato chips.  Sometimes Dad would do the same with a piece of gum.  Equally separating a piece of Trident into thirds.  Sometimes the teeny chewing gum would get stuck between my teeth because it was so small.

The same dividing ritual occurred with soda.  Mom and Dad would only buy orange Co-op brand pop.  Once in a while, if we were really good, Mom would send me down into the cellar to fetch a can of soda.  I’d return greeted by three identical glasses lined in a row. Waiting.  Smart on the parents part.  Moderation, cost saving, and “the girls were learning to share.”

A friend of mine can buy a Kit-Kat, break off a single finger, eat it then wrap the rest up and put it away for another day.  This behaviour does NOT compute in my brain.  I’d have to eat the rest of the bar IN CASE THE SISTERS FOUND IT!

I have been attempting a change though.  This weekend I found some lovely baby zucchini and some snap peas.  Manageably green and healthy.  I don’t want to be too overwhelmed by beta carotene and antioxidants so I have to start slow.  I have yet to break the their wrapping and so far they still lie in wait.  In the meantime I’ve totally consumed the vanilla caramel latte flavoured ice-cream I bought.

*sigh*

I’m not a lost cause though.

I really quite like fruit.

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