Have you ever gone to bed, physically exhausted and mind numbed from the day, and fallen into the deepest of sleeps. A sleep that is dreamless and catatonic and promising of regeneration imagined only in fairy tales or science fiction?
Only to wake up a couple hours later.
With nothing but five or six hours of darkness and silence in front of you.
Sure, you could get up and do something mindless in an attempt to lull yourself back into a state relaxed enough to effortlessly slip back into REM. Reading. Surfing the net. Listening to music on the iPod. Watching the shopping channel. But you’ve done that before and it usually ends up with becoming an Amazon books “preferred customer” or purchasing a set of salad spinners of varying sizes.
Or, you could do something productive. Wash the kitchen floor. Paper work. Balance the cheque book. Return some emails. But these tasks aren’t fun at the best of times like when the sun is in full shine and you’ve got the Black Eyed Peas blasting “I Got a Feeling”. Therefore it’s nowhere near tempting to participate in such endeavors during the witching hour.
Most often you just lie there in the dark. And think. And mull. And worry. And try to convince yourself that “it’s because you’re a Libra and therefore naturally introspective.” or “it’s not your fault you’re neurotic, it’s hereditary.”
And images of Poe’s Raven flutter in your imagination. And suddenly you internalize that poem to suit your own restless mind meanderings.
What is the “raven” that is keeping you awake?
And you realize that it’s not just one, but a whole rookery of blasted “ravens”.
instead of tossing and turning you decide that maybe you’re awake because you’re supposed to take time out in the twenty-four hours we’ve deemed a day to send good thoughts, blessings of all sorts, to good people. Loved ones. Friends.
maybe it’s because you’re supposed to send blessings to other people. Those that frustrate. Complicate. Disappoint.
Those that keep you awake at night.
tonight let’s try to acknowledge, to bless, and maybe to forgive.
to let go.